Justin Wyatt

My XBox360 Horror Story/Experience

Posted by Justin under Personal, review, xbox360

This post has been updated you can reach the updated post by clicking this link.

Phone Rep: “No, You need a real address..”

Justin (Wyatt): “But, I do have a real address, it’s on a military base and your web application on xbox support won’t accept it?”

Rep: “Well, uh, you need a real address…”

Justin: “That is a REAL Address!”

Rep: “No, it’s not, uhm, you need a real address”

My thoughts:        (I think this guy clearly is a mental degenerate.)

Justin: “Well, can I speak with someone who’s not an idiot please?”

Rep:  “Well, sir there’s nothing we can do for you unless you have another address.”

Justin: “Well…sir, let me speak to your supervisor…”

(Insert another 2 hours worth of phone conversations over the course of about 10 phone calls)

Well, if you can’t tell from that I happen to unfortunately own a Microsoft Xbox 360 that I got for a bargain price off a friend a few months ago, that I cannot complain about.  However, just recently (a couple months ago now) I suffered the infamous “red ring of death” like so many of my fellow xbox owners.  I had just purchased Saints Row 2 and was amped to put it in and start playing.  I get to the loading new game screen and sdafdsccrsssssssssshhhhh, the xbox starts making all kinds of unnatural noises and freezes.

I start it up again to see to my not-so-surprised face that I have those god damn three red lights.

“Fuck.”

So I start checking on the XBox support web-site what I can do about this.  I find after putting in my serial number that the xbox I own is currently out of warranty however thanks to microsofts ENORMOUS failure rate on these machines if I’m ailed by the infamous three red lights I may be able to get it repaired at no cost still.  I then start filling out all the needed forms and it keeps telling me my address is not real when I’m trying to enter (my base’s name) AFB.  After trying all known forms of the name in the English language I break down and decide to call the dreaded, foreign operated, endless on-hold music, xbox support phone line.

(If you ever wish to kill about 2 hours of your life and grow a few gray hairs the number is 1-800-4MY-XBOX)

So, I finally call my buddy who happens to have moved off base and ask him if I can send it to his address since mine is not good enough for Microsoft.  I could go into another whole rant about how fucked up it is that Microsoft won’t ship to one of it’s undoubtedly hugest markets, the military, and how horrible that makes their corporation look..an American corporation and the American military at that, hmm.

Anyway he has no problem with that so I call them back again, and get another hopeless, script-reading phone rep.  I finally give up after being on hold 20-30 mins and fill out the address manually (with the apartment number, this will be important note later) on xbox’s support web-site.  All is well, the box with the packaging and instructions for shipping my xbox arrives at my friends place, no problem.  Everything I need is even included in this box, thank the Lord, Jesus, Allah and buddha, and whatever other creator that’s been fathomed!

Xbox actually sent me a tracking number and a confirmation for the empty box to arrive.  I have the tracking number for the xbox that I shipped myself, obviously.  I should mention, if this illustrates the XBox’s incredible failure rate to you that the clerk at the UPS store I went to knew exactly what I was shipping in the already taped up, white, nondescript box, as soon as I set foot in the store, yes, he sees THAT many of them, “everyday, almost” he said.  Everything is going relatively smoothly as far as I know.  I forget about the whole thing and that I even own a Xbox for about a 3-4 week period since we are so swamped at work.  One day about 2 weeks ago I remember that I shipped the thing off and check my email and xbox’s support web-site…again.

Nothing.

In fact they don’t even show me as having an open repair going on.  I call up their demon spawn hell hole of a phone number again and get yet another awesome phone representative, most definitely of Indian descent.  Don’t get me wrong, I outsource some of my work to India even but this guy was very difficult to communicate with.  He gives me another tracking number and tells me my xbox hasn’t been shipped from the facility even though that day I have recieved a call from UPS telling me I need to get some package, and the phone number they leave only goes to an automated message.  I figure it must be some mistake.

After a week I call them back to find out the tracking number and look into it myself.  This, my friends was more of a feat than it sounds, you literally have to tell them your life story before they’ll give it to you and then you have to explain exactly what it is you need while they read it back to you for whatever god damn reason word for word.  When I finally get off the phone with them this time (this is around phone call number 7 or 8 ) I check my tracking number, the new one, and find it’s been shipped back to the repair warehouse because they forgot to put the apartment number on the address where my friend lives.

Great.

So feeling pretty pissed off about the whole thing I decide to let it slide for a few days and call them back after I’m not completely irate about the whole thing.  Maybe I can aIctually communicate with them, so I call them and tell them about their big screw up and how I’ve had to call an un-godly amount of times.  It’s another Indian call center representative so they just acknowledge and say I’m sorry and continue reading their script, but it still feels, in a superficial way, that someone there maybe gives half a shit.

After being put on hold for a half hour after I explained the situation my awesome cellular phone service cuts out thanks to the extreme boron content of all the concrete buildings here on base.  I give up, they know everything they need hopefully they’ll do something about this bullshit.

So finally a few days ago Microsoft Xbox support decides they can actually send me e-mail confirmations when they’re doing stuff, it only took 2 months!  I still didn’t recieve any tracking number but I hope after the 4th time shipping it there they can figure out that it’s kind of a mandatory item.

Hopefully they got it right this time.  I doubt I’ll recieve any compensation from this (I’ve heard they give out free xbox live subscriptions when they do these repairs) HUGE pain in my ass they’ve given me.  And I know their product is obviously inferior, their failure rate on the 360 has to be at least 50% seeing as every person I’ve talked to has gone through at least one of these three-red-light ordeals, if not two.  That and the absolutely ridiculous reasonings of whatever they have for not shipping to even state-side military addresses, which is bullshit because I recieve UPS packages almost once a week here on base.

Shit.  When it comes down to it I’ll just say this…

I should’ve bought a PS3.

I’ll keep you updated if they ever actually get my xbox here, and if it even works.

There better be a damn xbox live card or at the very least a Hallmark card telling me how Microsoft is sorry for being such a shitty company that doesn’t support our troops or produce one product that isn’t a complete half ass piece of shit.

-One Pissed off Airman.